Last night I was out rather late,
‘Twas only an innocent spell.
My wife for my coming did wait,
When sleeping I thought she would be.
I found her in temper and tears.
Oh, she cried, It’s a sin and a shame.
And she scratched both my eyes and my ears,
But I told her I soon would explain.
The club had a meeting last night, love.
Of business we had a great sight, love.
Don’t think for a moment I’m tight, love.
I’ve only been down to the club
My boots I left in the hall,
And softly I crept up the stairs.
I kept rather close to the wall
And thought to ascend unawares.
But just as I got to the door
I seemed to get lost in the dark.
I stumbled and fell on the floor,
And just then I could only remark:
She sobbed, she wept, and she screamed
And said she’d go back to her Ma.
While I on the mantle piece leaned,
And tried to enjoy my cigar.
I promised to buy her a dress
If she’d let me alone for a while;
And I gave her a sweet little kiss,
And I saw her beginning to smile.
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